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TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE ..............
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
2. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap
opera guys.
3. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the
perfect present yet again!
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to
hear.
6. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
7. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think of it that way.
8. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. You have
enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
9. Crying is blackmail.
10. Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong
hints don't work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say whatever the hell it is you
want!
11. Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
12. Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing
which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
13. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
14. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
15. Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.
16. You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.
17. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
18. The most ANY man can see is only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
19. If it itches, it will be scratched.
20. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.