Due to increasing products liability litigation, American Beer Brewers
have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
happened to your bra.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like
a moron.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
really want you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical
martial arts talents, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. WARNING: The
consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something
really scary.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you
are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy
